It would appear that attempting to graduate from college makes you a busy person, hence my extreme excitement for the beginning of my blog and then complete neglect the past few months. But sadly, today's post is a somber one. I lost a really important, loyal, and treasured friend this past week. I lost my iPod.
I received my mint green iPod Nano for Christmas several years ago and affectionately named him The Green Machine. Since I didn't move out of the stone ages when it comes to cellular mobile devices until September of last year, my iPod was really important to me. I've never been able to listen to the radio because commercials infuriate me and I lose my shit when I'm forced to listen to Kesha and Rihanna like the world is ending. Side note, I refuse to type Kesha's name with a "$" because she doesn't deserve it. I also had to Google how to spell Rihanna. Shoot me.
The Green Machine and I had some serious adventures together. My first epic playlist - and I mean epic - was made for the long car ride to the best spring break trip ever. Destin. Florida. Katie Riggs and I famously got yelled at several times for playing Jon Lajoie's "Show Me Your Genitals" on repeat. "DESTIN OR DIE" (because if it's not in all capitals, how will you know how good it is?) is still my best playlist of all time. It's a sad day when you've reached your peak of making playlists, but unlike Dennis Reynolds, I'm perfectly fine with admitting I've peaked. But just in this sense.
I've decided to never go back to Florida because I'm scared that even if I was riding unicorns with Jason Segel around on the beautiful beaches and he had just gotten done telling me that he wouldn't be mad at me for cheating on him with celebrities, it would still pale in comparison to that spring break trip. Unless he proposed.
I also recently started running a lot and my iPod was always my first choice for listening to "Watch the Throne" and convincing myself that if I can make it through one more mile, Kanye will totally put me in a music video and make me his main white bitch. I have to admit that I also liked to be able leave my phone at home for a long time and gauge my popularity by how many missed calls and texts I'd have when I came back. And yes, there were a "few" times where I wasn't missed by anyone.
There were so many times that I didn't treat The Green Machine like I should have. Countless times I left him in my car for hours on end without even the window cracked or a cup of water. I also made him hold terrible, terrible music for me. I went through a phase where I only listened to Sting & The Police and Rod Stewart for an entire month. AN ENTIRE MONTH.
Once, I even cheated on The Green Machine and bought an app to add my music to my phone. It was a complete waste of three dollars, which is the same price for a vodka tonic at Rocky's. My phone is also annoyingly cumbersome because it has to stay in an Otter Box since I can't be trusted to not destroy it in a drunken rage. Cumbersome doesn't fit my lifestyle.
The Green Machine is also haunting my dreams like an ex boyfriend. I wake up thinking that we're back together and frolicking in green pastures only to realize that we broke up forever and we can never speak again. Now that I think about it, The Green Machine is probably the best boyfriend I ever had.
So with that said, I am truly sorry, The Green Machine. What we had was real and you'll forever have a special place in my heart. I hope that whomever found you treats you well and also has an eclectic taste in music.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Guilty Pleasure Post One
I'm going to be honest before I start this post and say that I just got done writing about Jason Segel. That post is lengthy and cumbersome and incredibly neurotic. I'm thinking about posting it when I have made it clear that I'm just neurotic and not also murderously obsessed with a celebrity.
Now for my first Guilty Pleasure Post: trashy reality television. I'm embarrassingly obsessed with the people who make mockeries of their lives on national TV. I mean, I'm not a fan of the Kardashians by any means, but I feel like I have to watch their show every Sunday. Side note: I've also been watching because I read a gossip column daily and they said Kim was caught re-shooting her confessional scenes to make Kris Humphries look like an evil monster. I'm a sucker for a scandal.
Now let's talk about Wives, by which I mean both the Mob and Real. Mob Wives is just awesome. This season, they have a new cast member named Big Ang who until I see naughty pictures leaked online, I will continue to believe that she is tucking. These women all have husbands or fathers who were heavily involved with the mafia and something about being that close to the action makes these women completely volatile. They love to fight! They pull hair, call each other whores, and entertain me on every other level of how to not act if you're a lady.
I'm also infatuated with the Real Housewives of every major city. Orange County is my favorite. I have dreams about this show. Gretchen has to be my favorite housewife who isn't married let alone dating anyone rich anymore. Her fights with Tamra are just pure gold. I think what I love best about this series is that these are grown women and they fight like they are fourteen-years-old and all in love with the same *NSYNC member.
Two words: Toddlers & Tiaras. What is not to love about this show? It's all pushy stage moms who have no business being anywhere near a beauty pageant and overly bratty children who love the attention. I also have no qualms with Teen Mom and Sixteen & Pregnant. Although I completely disagree with how MTV almost glamorizes teen pregnancy, you can't help but watch and think, "at least it's not me!" Don't even get me started on Jennelle and her mom. Bitches be straight crazy.
While we're on the topic of MTV, yes, I watch Jersey Shore. I'll admit it, I love Vinny. If he doesn't come back soon, I'll probably stop watching. I don't condone any of their actions nor do I think it's cool to go to the club and get so drunk that my panties fall off, but I'd be a liar if I said that watching Deena make an asshole of herself isn't highly entertaining.
I also really miss the reality dating shows Vh1 used to produce. Rock of Love with Bret Michaels was the ultimate best. Daisy de la Hoya even got her own spin-off thanks to this magical train wreck. It's sad that Bret Michaels had to reconcile with the mother of his children because there were some class acts who wanted to date him.
Now listen, these are guilty pleasures. I'm not going to try and get peed on in a "leaked" sex video so I can make it big time or fist pump my way to the slammer. Watching "grown-ups" act like fools for a paycheck is just something you can always count on for at least a self-esteem boost.
Now for my first Guilty Pleasure Post: trashy reality television. I'm embarrassingly obsessed with the people who make mockeries of their lives on national TV. I mean, I'm not a fan of the Kardashians by any means, but I feel like I have to watch their show every Sunday. Side note: I've also been watching because I read a gossip column daily and they said Kim was caught re-shooting her confessional scenes to make Kris Humphries look like an evil monster. I'm a sucker for a scandal.
Now let's talk about Wives, by which I mean both the Mob and Real. Mob Wives is just awesome. This season, they have a new cast member named Big Ang who until I see naughty pictures leaked online, I will continue to believe that she is tucking. These women all have husbands or fathers who were heavily involved with the mafia and something about being that close to the action makes these women completely volatile. They love to fight! They pull hair, call each other whores, and entertain me on every other level of how to not act if you're a lady.
I'm also infatuated with the Real Housewives of every major city. Orange County is my favorite. I have dreams about this show. Gretchen has to be my favorite housewife who isn't married let alone dating anyone rich anymore. Her fights with Tamra are just pure gold. I think what I love best about this series is that these are grown women and they fight like they are fourteen-years-old and all in love with the same *NSYNC member.
Two words: Toddlers & Tiaras. What is not to love about this show? It's all pushy stage moms who have no business being anywhere near a beauty pageant and overly bratty children who love the attention. I also have no qualms with Teen Mom and Sixteen & Pregnant. Although I completely disagree with how MTV almost glamorizes teen pregnancy, you can't help but watch and think, "at least it's not me!" Don't even get me started on Jennelle and her mom. Bitches be straight crazy.
While we're on the topic of MTV, yes, I watch Jersey Shore. I'll admit it, I love Vinny. If he doesn't come back soon, I'll probably stop watching. I don't condone any of their actions nor do I think it's cool to go to the club and get so drunk that my panties fall off, but I'd be a liar if I said that watching Deena make an asshole of herself isn't highly entertaining.
I also really miss the reality dating shows Vh1 used to produce. Rock of Love with Bret Michaels was the ultimate best. Daisy de la Hoya even got her own spin-off thanks to this magical train wreck. It's sad that Bret Michaels had to reconcile with the mother of his children because there were some class acts who wanted to date him.
Now listen, these are guilty pleasures. I'm not going to try and get peed on in a "leaked" sex video so I can make it big time or fist pump my way to the slammer. Watching "grown-ups" act like fools for a paycheck is just something you can always count on for at least a self-esteem boost.
What Gets the People Going
I kept going back and forth with whether or not I wanted to write an introduction about myself. On one hand, you should know me. I really enjoy my own opinion and if you don't take life too seriously, you'll be able to find me tolerable. On the other hand, maybe I won't like you. I mean, what if it's clear that I'm super witty and you just can't handle it? But I guess only time will tell so I'll go ahead and tell you what you need to know.
I hate my upstairs neighbors. They literally bang every day and I don't understand why they have to rub it in my face. I also really can't stand when the coaster sticks to the bottom of my glass. Talk about annoying. One time, I busted my chin open in a bathroom and I still don't know how it happened to this day. I have an unnatural, incredibly unhealthy obsession with Jason Segel. It isn't appropriate but I can't help myself. I'm sure this topic will get at least one blog post to itself - AT LEAST.
I love pop culture. It's gross. I leave television on while I sleep. I would go to the movies once a day if time permitted. I'm a music junkie. I guarantee you I've gone through a phase for every genre. There was a month where I listened to only classical music. Kanye West is my ultimate favorite artist. This, too, will also get at least one post.
I'm graduating college this August and I literally have no plan. It's frightening and exciting all at the same time. I want to write for a living. My parents are worried I won't be able to support them later in life with a journalism degree. Their concerns are completely warranted.
I drink too much, I share too much, and I occasionally let small things get to me. I'm paranoid to a fault. I'm cynical, but I try not to let it get too negative. I think that when people say they are dedicating themselves to something, they should follow through. I also believe that my smartphone has made me anti-social. I'm hoping this blog will just be something fun that I can enjoy and hopefully a few others will get something out of it. On that note, my neighbors are going at it like animals in heat. I've got to start pounding on the ceiling now.
I hate my upstairs neighbors. They literally bang every day and I don't understand why they have to rub it in my face. I also really can't stand when the coaster sticks to the bottom of my glass. Talk about annoying. One time, I busted my chin open in a bathroom and I still don't know how it happened to this day. I have an unnatural, incredibly unhealthy obsession with Jason Segel. It isn't appropriate but I can't help myself. I'm sure this topic will get at least one blog post to itself - AT LEAST.
I love pop culture. It's gross. I leave television on while I sleep. I would go to the movies once a day if time permitted. I'm a music junkie. I guarantee you I've gone through a phase for every genre. There was a month where I listened to only classical music. Kanye West is my ultimate favorite artist. This, too, will also get at least one post.
I'm graduating college this August and I literally have no plan. It's frightening and exciting all at the same time. I want to write for a living. My parents are worried I won't be able to support them later in life with a journalism degree. Their concerns are completely warranted.
I drink too much, I share too much, and I occasionally let small things get to me. I'm paranoid to a fault. I'm cynical, but I try not to let it get too negative. I think that when people say they are dedicating themselves to something, they should follow through. I also believe that my smartphone has made me anti-social. I'm hoping this blog will just be something fun that I can enjoy and hopefully a few others will get something out of it. On that note, my neighbors are going at it like animals in heat. I've got to start pounding on the ceiling now.
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